April 12, 2007
BY RON DZWONKOWSKI
FREE PRESS COLUMNIST

As funerals go, Neal Shine's was a pretty good one.

Shine would have liked it, because he was in the midst of family and friends -- and because the joy of his remembered life outweighed the sadness that it is over.

Shine would have approved, too, of the final hymn, encouraging the overflow throng Wednesday at St. Ambrose Catholic Church to "build a city of God" where tears are turned into dancing.

That's what Shine wanted for Detroit, his hometown, a city in which he never gave up hope as he chronicled its triumphs and troubles over a 45-year career in journalism that was crowned by a Pulitzer Prize in 1968 for the Free Press' coverage of the city's disastrous 1967 riot.
The former Free Press messenger, reporter, editor and finally publisher was eulogized by his brother Bill and two of his sons, Tom and Dan, as an exemplary father, husband and journalist but also an irascible prankster and a master storyteller -- someone who knew that being a good talker started with being a good listener.

"He focused in on you and made you feel like you were valuable," said Father Timothy Pelc, pastor of St. Ambrose. Pelc used the story of the Good Samaritan -- a humble man who aids a wounded traveler ignored by those of higher stature -- to describe Shine's caring nature and willingness to help those in need.

"It's not how you define your neighbor," Pelc said. "It's first whether you choose to make that person a neighbor."
Shine, 76, died April 3. His funeral drew more than 700 people to the church in Grosse Pointe Park, a few miles from the east-side Detroit neighborhood where Shine grew up and, with wife Phyllis, raised their six children.

It was altogether fitting that the Shine family eschewed a standard post-funeral menu to treat the crowd to a "Taste of Detroit" luncheon, complete with coney islands, Vernors, Sanders chocolate and Better Made potato chips. Humble fare, perhaps, but pure Detroit, just like Shine.

"His mother," said son Tom, "always told her children, you are as good as anybody else. But don't go thinking you're better than anybody else."

Maybe that's why Neal Shine, so highly regarded as a public speaker, also was remembered Wednesday as the consummate listener.
If you know the history of this community as well as Neal Shine did, you know that listening has never been real high on the values list around here. Oh, we've had plenty of talkers. Too many, in fact. And for too many too often, it's been about who can talk the loudest.
Maybe we spend so much time yelling at each other in this region because it is easier than listening, which requires caring, trying to understand, learning something about somebody else and even discovering some common ground.

Conversation is a two-channel undertaking, incoming and outgoing. Otherwise it is just talk. Neal Shine loved to talk. And he was good at it. But he also was wise enough to know when it was more important to listen. Listening, really listening, is a powerful way to show you care, even if listen is all you can do.

Perhaps Neal Shine's six children heard him shout on occasion, but nobody around the Free Press ever did. Yet somehow, he always got his points across. And nobody here who had a conversation with Shine ever walked away thinking "he didn't hear a word I said."
If we are ever going to build, or rebuild, that city of Neal Shine's hope, we can all start by becoming better listeners. He showed us all that if you really want to be heard, you start by listening.

Contact RON DZWONKOWSKI at dzwonk@freepress.com.